


The Brown Hoodie

by Minimalliar



Category: TharnType the Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Jealousy, Love, M/M, MewGulf - Freeform, i love mewgulf so much, i love real life based, no one can beat them in my heart, only mewgulf, real Life event
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:21:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24611446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minimalliar/pseuds/Minimalliar
Summary: This brown hoodie is my everything whenever Phi Mew arent besides me ...
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Kudos: 87





	The Brown Hoodie

Season 1 was a huge success, at least in the eyes of the bl audiences. P'Mame did it. She achieved her dream. She managed to finish this series using her 100% own effort and expenses. Never in the world that we dreamt to gain this massive popularity, let alone achieving no 1 worldwide hashtags when episode 11 aired. It was beyond our goal. It was beyond our own little hope and dream.

Yes. We did it. 

I remember how P'Mame cried her lungs out while called Khun Phi through her smartphone. Her mellow voice plus with her river-like tears was still lingering inside my head. I dont know... Her condition that time really gave me a huge impact. 

I did cry. I just didnt cry in front of the crowds. It was so childish and unmanly too. I cried alone. In my room that half filled with my fans letters that I sticked onto the walls and gifts that I stacked at the corner of my room, I cried on my bed.

That day was so soft and endearing. I was so happy we get so much love from people. They love our series. They accept the message that we conveyed through out the story. They managed to see how hard we work to make TharnType The Series gets what it deserved.

It was all, thanks to P'Mame. Without her, we all will not exist in this world.

Without her, there's no Tharn, no Type, no hate to love based plotline, no ankle kiss scene that grabbed the heart of the audience until it won as the best kiss scene in LINE TV AWARDS, no sporting crews, no good actors turned to a big family, no Waanjais ...

And, the most important thing was,

there will be no Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat as my Tharn.

***

I jumped at my queen sized bed after a hot shower. I began to feel the sore all over my body after the long events. Soft ... Cold ... I can feel how bouncy my own bed was. It was so fluffy and Im sinking on it partially. Yet, I feel so cold even though I had my clothes on. I wore a long jegging pants with a long sleeve shirt. I also wore a full legged stocking. 

Why the hell I feel like Im standing in the middle of the north pole ??

"The aircond. I must turn it off".

I reached the AC remote and pressed the on/off button. 

After a while, I do feel a bit warm, but its still fucking cold. Im shivering to my bone!

I slide down my legs from the bed and make a several steps until I reached my cupboard. I rummaged through the hanging clothes before I switched to the folded one. I carefully checked if my specific item were among the organized clothes. I dont want to mess them up. Folding those clothes were the pain in the ass to be honest.

Then, after I cant find the one that Im looking for, I quickly light stepped to downstairs and went to the laundry room. I switched on the bulb, and scanned the whole room. 

I smiled. I think I smiled so widely that all my 32 teeth were showing. 

I cant help it. I rushed to the corner of the room and wrapped my arms around the brown hoodie. I sniffed onto it several times to inhale a scent that I dont think I can live forward if I didnt smell it once a day. 

I sighed satisfyingly. My lips gets wider. My eyes turned crescent more. My heart expanded than before.

"Im home, Khun Phi...". I whispered before I removed the hanger and brought it with me upstairs. Along the path, I constantly rubbed it against my cheek. I missed it so much.

Everytime when Im away from Phi Mew, I will look for this hoodie as a substitude to release my missing feelings towards him. Not that Im gonna ever told him this little secret of mine anyway. Not a chance. This hoodie was from him, actually. He gave it to me way back during we were shooting some scenes at Samet Island. 

Looking back, I cant help but laugh at our silliness. We do fought and sulked from each other for two whole days. Such a brat. I meant myself. I cant help but feel so angry that time. The real conflict was one thing, but I cant stand it when he was blatantly ignoring my whole being. He didnt even look at me. 

But I knew that I cant be selfish and going around possessing bad mood aura around the crews so I just went sneaking to P'Mew's hotel room at night during day 2 with an excuse that I wanna practice my dialogue with him but it was a fat lie. Im gonna make up with no matter he wants it or not.

And there it is, a bittersweet memory that I jot down and saved in in my heart and mind. It's one of the most important memory to me. I will still recall them back whenever I had time to chit chat with the old man. It's so fun watching how he reacts and complaints. He's so precious, isnt it? My Khun Phi?

Gulf reached his room, closed his door, turned back his AC since he can feel that he's generating sweat, and crawled onto his bed.

He never once let go of the hoodie. Not a chance if it was in his grasp.

The smell is really not gonna wear off. Mom knew how miserable I will be if this smell were gone, that's why she just dry it up in the room to preserve it's fragrance. If I put in my bedroom, my room scent will slowly absorb Phi Mew's and this hoodie will turn into a different smell. She knew how important this is to me...

"Phi Mew ....". My lips chanted his name out of blue. 

I missed you already. After earlier today, when you said on the fanmeet that you're proud that Im good at copying your pose, I feel so happy. When you carried me on your back and let me take an advantage to your kindness, I can never feel happier than that. I sensed how you pecked a feather kiss onto my arms and u really accidentally kissed for real when I rised up my arms so you can kiss it. I really was just teasing u ~~ 

Gulf was so embarrassed he covered his flushed face with the hoodie and inhaled it.

I... I was being so clingy to you today all day long. U have to know why I did it, Phi Mew. I want you to know that I will missed you so much. So much that even the border of the country cant stop me. I wanted to cry when I get to know that you will fly to overseas several hours soon. 

It was hard for me not to be able to be in your touch for two days. I didnt want to tell you my feelings. It will only pressure you. 

Gulf then get off from the bed to turn off the light. The unwashed hoodie was still in his arms firmly. He then went on the bed and turned to his right side. Although his room was dark, he managed to reach out his free hand to the picture frame where he and Phi Mew were smiling together and pulled it tightly toward his chest.

He was completely at ease now. 

After all, he was surrounded by Phi Mew's memento, wasnt he?

***

I woke up at 6am. This is not Gulf Kanawut that people knew. He was not a morning person, let alone an early morning person.

But today is different, and he will only get up this early for a special someone.

With a heavy eye lids, I grabbed my phone and pressed number 8 on the emergency number. I dont need to unlock my phone and put myself in difficulties by opening my contact folder and looking for Phi Mew's number. Bleh, its such a hard work. Not gonna do it. So, I set his number as one of my emergency number. 

Easy as ABC. Less work, more time with him. 

Why number 8? Because he was the one that labelled our relationship as 8 out from 10. At first I was upset with it but when later he explained that why he left other 2 digits, I giggled so hard I feel like I can fly to heavens any moment. 8 means infinity. He always reminded me about it. 

Number 8 really has become my favourite number and it was all because of Khun Phi.

"Hello?". Phi Mew answered!

"Hello kab. Are you in plane already?". I asked. He should be already since his flight schedule supposed to be an hour ago.

A soft chuckle can be heard on the other side of the line. "Yes I already am. I will expect to arrive for an hour more. Theres a light turbulence going on just now so the journey would be a bit slow. Safety first right". 

I was a bit worried after hearing that. "Please stay safe na P'Mew. It do sounds a bit scary". 

"Now I dont have to because I can hear your voice, Yai Nong".

I clenched my chest. It hurts. My heart beat so fast I nearly faint. He's such a sweet talker. Sometimes Im worried that he might get someone else hooked into him for being this sweet and smooth. Jealousy really is a bitch haha.

"Do you want me to talk more with you? So you can calm down". I offered.

"Uii. Can I really get that privilege? You dont have to do it na". His voice seemed to be surprised.

I frowned. "Why do you say like that? We called each other almost everyday for more than an hour. This is the least I can do for you when we're not together". I do feel like my voice was cracking as I tried to surpass my anger. We talked all this time and he still having doubt about it?

"No, its not like that. Im not used to be the taker. You know that right? But, hearing how you scold me, I can sense how sincere you are. Im so happy right now what should I do Yai Nong ...". 

I immediately buried my burning face onto the pillow. Im a goner too. Im so happy right now. I want to meet him and brushed my skin with him so bad. I want to feel his warmth directly and clinging onto his arm like always.

Why tomorrow seems so far away? Im going crazy.

"Yai Nong?". Mew called out as Gulf didnt respond for a while.

I quickly replied, "Yes yes Im here. Then, talk to me until you arrived at the airport". 

Why I can imagine how wide Phi Mew smiled after I mutter those favor?

***

I was in the middle of shower when my smartphone was ringing. Huh? Who could it be? Calling me during night time? 

I turned off the shower, wrapped up my torso with towel and went out from the bathroom before grabbing my smartphone.

I immediately answer.

I already said that Im a goner for this person right? I can swim across the pacific ocean and climb the Everest mountain for him if he asked me to. Thats how I understand about how I feel towards him. I must be crazy, but I dont wanted to deny that my love for him is as big as galaxies. Hehe.

"Hello krab... What are you dreaming about Yai Nong ..". Mew was laghing. I must leave him hanging for a while just now while Im so busy encrypted my feelings.

"Sorry na phi. Im just sorting out my emotions. Nothing much. How's the exhibition going in there? I saw in twitter that you really got massive support from Philippine fans". I replied fast.

"Before I answer, what feeling are you sorting of? Can Phi know?".

I went on silent mode for a while. Is this really the time to let him know how I really feel? Im a bit scared now haha. 

"I'll answer that before we hang up. Tell me about your job first Khun Phi". I resolved.

"Aw. I want to hear that first. Please. Na na na...". He's begging. I can see his puppy eyes staring at me, as if he wanted me to pet him. He's so adorable...

"I save the best for the last". 

"Ok deal. You better make it worth my waiting time". 

I giggled while rolling around on my bed. I dont care if my bed sheets were drenched with water from my shower. I just knew that Im elated.

"So, what did you do there? Although I knew but hearing from your mouth would be much better".

They both talked about what Mew did there for hours. Gulf was almost losing his handsome face because his smile was so wide it can reach his ears for any moment. He can slit his mouth open if he didnt control his overwhelmed feelings. His laugh can be heard downstairs until his dad knocked his door to hush him lower. 

"Opps. I guess I laugh too hard na Phi Mew". I toned down my voice as if I was whispering through the screen.

"Yeah. I heard someone knocking your door hahahahah". Mew was laughing.

I pouted. "Dont laugh at me. You're the one that make me laugh out loud. You better take responsibility". 

"Oe oe oe. Phi will take it. What do you want me to do then?".

I cant help myself. I was grinning like I won over him. Is it wrong that I feel like this towards him?

"I recalled that you do bring our couple shirt that fans gave to us right? Wear it and send the pic to me".

"Oh. I do bring it. It's your request anyway so I knew this will coming. I'll do it later. But now, you owe me something".

I knew. I never forget. I saved the best for the last. 

Do I prepare to tell him now? I can hear how loud my pulse beat. This is the matter of life and death to me. Confessing to him will produce several outcomes and it could be bad or good. 

I just hope, he will accept me. My love for him.

"Oh Yai Nong. Hear me out. Stop daydreaming". 

I startled at his voice. "What is it Phi?".

"I have to go now na. Bosser just told me that I had to meet someone. It's from local's cable channel. Can I go now?".

Like a Titanic, my heart sank too. But I dont have a choice. It's his work related. Do I have any right to stop him for my own desire? I will never do that. 

I'll let you go.

"Yeah, you can. No, you must go na Phi. It's your work. Su su na Khun Phi. Im always here".

But I cut off first and I regretted it for the rest of my life. Shia! Why the hell I did that ?? Now he'll think I sulked. 

I threw my smartphone besides me, and sat at the edge of my bed. Whatever. 

... I felt so cold. Im shivering. I quickly searching for the hoodie and wore it. I wore shorts too. I checked my bed whether its still wet but thank god its not. I could sleep for tonight and tomorrow I'll change the sheet. 

I turned off the lamp and went downstairs as my stomach was growling. I suddenly felt hungry. 

Khun Phi is really amazing. He fulfilled me up with love that I forget about my hunger. Isnt that a bad thing?

***

I went upstairs sluggishly after eating two bowl of rice. Mom is a great cook. Im glad that I was born as her son. I dont care my lil tummy sticking out. It was someone's favourite after all. So I'll preserved this baby fats. 

I entered my room without switching on the lights. Too lazy. Im gonna drop dead soon anyway. I reached my abandoned smartphone and i widened my eyes.

Phi Mew sent me a photo! A promised photo!

I opened it and I smiled, almost grinning. 

"Yai Bii belongs to Phi Boo" is what was written on the white Tshirt and the owner was in the middle of brushing his teeth! I thudded my forehead against the screen. He really wore it. Khun Phi wear it for me. How happier I can be today? 

My slight trembled fingers was typing to reply him.

"Thank you. I like it". 

While waiting, I opened twitter app and posted the pic. Put on a cute green little dino to cover his back phone cover, and put on the caption. Settle!

I jumped on my bed and bounce several times. I will meet him tomorrow! 

Suddenly, my phone rang and I accepted it so fast. Its him!

"Hello P'Gulf. Do you already asleep?". 

"No not yet na Phi. Im wide awake". Its not a lie tho.

"Im glad that you didnt sound that you're sulking. Im sorry for cutting off our conversation before... Im glad". I can hear him sigh.

But I can hear more how painful my heart raced. I made him worried over nothing. Im the one who hurt him. 

"No Phi.. You dont need to apologise. Im the one who should apologise. It's so selfish of me to get angry for that. It's work. Dont you worry". I can only say that much since I cant find the right words to mutter to him.

"Do you mind if I want you to continue to talk about your feelings?". 

My eyes twitched. He remember about it. Can I take it that he was interested to get to know my heart?

"When will you go back here na Khun Phi?". I asked first to comfirm something. Ive already decided on what to do now.

"I'll be on the plane early morning. Maybe on 7am and I'll reach Bangkok about 9 am or more?". 

I nodded. Alright. I got the answer.

"Phi Mew. Can I have a sleepover at your condo tomorrow?". With courage, I asked.

"Hu-huh?". His voice was shaking. He was shocked.

I laughed softly. "Na na na...".

Mew was silent for a moment. I began to have a rising heartbeat. Not because Im hoping, Im afraid he didnt let me in. Let me in his condo. Its not my first time but I feel something was bit off now.

"...Yai Nong ... listen to me ..".

Now I feel really scared. 

"Do you know why I want to hear your feelings through the phone?".

I dont know so I replied that to him.

"Because I dont plan on meeting you directly until HOWE Award ceremony day comes".

Electricity was striking all over my body. My jaw was dropping. My eyes enlarged. I cant even move. What. Why? Im here all day long just to wait for him to come and he tell me straight that he didnt want to meet me?

"Listen to me. Gulf, please listen why I cant meet you yet".

I gripped my smartphone with all my strength. Its trembling. I felt like Im nothing to him. Im just his co-worker. Im just his mere friend. 

I felt those shitty train of labelled into me. God I felt like Im gonna cry.

"... I hate you". I cut the line off and switch off my phone. 

Dammit. My tears gushed down. 

I dont know where the fault was between us both. We just bursting our euphoria bubble. They puff to explode. When they disappear, my happiness blown away too.

I rubbed my tears off. Ugly sight. I cried because Im hurting. 

Why Khun Phi didnt want to meet me? For what reason? I was just prepared my heart to tell him how I feel about him.

I hugged my own body. At least, this hoodie didnt betray me ... It never leaves me... Its the only one that can make me feel safe aside from Phi Mew himself. I pray that I can stop crying before the sun was rising in the morning.

God .. It hurts ... Why Khun Phi dont want to see me .... 

Look. I cant even insult him when Im mad. Tsk.

***

"Gulf .... Are you done crying?". 

I can feel my mom's soft hands above my head. She gently wiped off some tears that still lingers around my eyes. Ive cried from last night until this evening. 

I heard a soft sigh coming from Mom. "Mae already told you many times right? You're Khun Mew's important person?".

I woke up abruptly and glared at my mom. Im angry.

"Then why he dont want to see me, mom???". I didnt raise my voice, but she knew it was so rigid. My heart shattered so much and my mom came here just to stomp on them more? Im her son not him!

".... Go read your twitter. You'll know why. Khun Mew called mae earlier. He said that he was waiting for you in his condo and he was ready to be yelled by you". 

I averted my wet eyes. 

Arent I the victim here? Why mom defended Phi Mew?

But deep down, I do feel something was off. I noticed since he called me last night. His voice was scattered. He wasnt like he used to be.

I only posted about his photo and I didnt scroll twitter much these days.

I turned to mom, and she nodded. 

Definitely, something was haunting Phi Mew. 

After mom disappear, I switched on my phone only to get so much notify.

101 missed calls and 99+ lined chats from P'Mew... there's from P'Best and P'Bosser too. 

I scrolled twitter, and found out that people was rattling about pandemic. Covvid disease spreads since January n it gets worse now. But what made me heartbroken was, people was calling out Phi Mew saying he should never be near me for my own safety ... If he was touching me or being close to me, I will get the virus. He might get infected, and he will passed it to me ....

... Are they really thinking like this? Im so speechless I burst in tears again. Phi Mew ... I called his name so many times. 

He's thinking about me. He actually cared about peoples accusation and hates toward him because this involved me. Thats why he choose not to be near me. He's hurting. More than me. He certainly in dire state of pain way more that what I felt now.

Im such an idiot for not hearing him out last night. I quickly grabbed my smartphone and ran downstairs to find my mom.

"Mom, please. Let me stay with Phi Mew tonight".

***

Ding Dong!

Mew went to open his condo door before Gulf immediately threw himself in Mew's embrace. Mew was so surprised and panicked so he tried to break the hug but Gulf insisted that he want to stay his position.

"Gulf no! I just got back! Let me go! The viru-". 

I cant stand this his kindness anymore. I pushed him against the door and lock my lips to his. I cupped his face with a bit of force. I dont want him to push me. I secured my action by staring at his dilated eyes. Im trying to convey that Im safe with him. 

I let his pale lips go after a few minute since we both need air to breathe. 

He was still in shock. I expected this kind of reaction. But I didnt expect my tears will flow down just like my heart did. 

"Mew". I called him softly. I wanted only him to hear me. No one else matter.

"Im safe with you. You're safe with me too. Even if u're infected, I'll bear it together with you". 

Mew widened his eyes and tried to push me, but he has zero luck for doing that.

"Try to push me. Let's see if you can push me from your life". I provoked. I want him to notice how serious I am with him. 

"But Gulf ...". 

Dry. Hurt. Pain. I get it just from hearing his voice. 

"Listen to me very carefully, Mew. I will only say this once". I let him go and dragged him to his bedroom.

I scanned his bedroom for a glimpse. He didnt unpacked his stuff yet. 

I pushed him to his bed and straddled onto his lap. I made myself at home. I dont care if I intruded into his life right now, because I saw how he need me so much. He need me to assure him for something very dear in his heart.

I brushed his back nape with my fingers. 

"Before I told you everything, I wanted to ask you. Do you get hurt by those malicious tweets they throw at you?".

Mew lowered his stare. Yeah, without him telling me, Im certain that he was hurt with it.

I pulled his face close until our nose collided. I have to tell him. I have to do it now.

"Mew ... listen to me na ...". Softly, I pecked a light kiss into his cheek. 

"Im sure right now you get a hint about my feelings towards you. So I'll go full force with it. I hope you can catch up". I said. 

His hand began to touch me. He resided them onto my arms. 

"I knew this old hoodie..". he said. He looked mesmerized. 

"Haha. Why? Do you think I wore this just for fun? Dont you know this hoodie mean so much in my life whenever you arent beside me?". 

I told him my little secret, didnt I?

Mew was purring. What the hell he purr onto my neck for?? This is cheating because I didnt even start my confession. And his seductive purr went straight to my semi-hard groin.

I pulled his head backwards. I need him to hear me out. Im not going into his pace. Not until I let it all out today. Since my mom already giving permission tonight, Im gonna use it to the fullest.

"Hey, Khun Phi. I havent start yet. Stay still!". 

Mew smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I'll hear you".

Good boy. 

"Let's be together. Let's be together for the rest of our lives". I proposed to him now using Type's signature proposal. Who could have known that I'll be the one that proposing him? 

Mew's eye smiled much more than before. He then grabbed my face and kissed my lips swiftly. 

"Arent you afraid you will be infected?". 

I laughed. So hard its not even funny anymore.

"You really are obstinate. Using words with you arent going to work. So Im gonna use my body to prove to you that I will be safe with you. Feel me".

Mew immediately kissed me. He poked my lips so that his tongue can meet mine and oh god, he sucked me like Im an ice cream. I moaned harder when his hard erection touched mine. 

"Show me, Gulf. Show me everything about you so that I will have only you in my mind and heart until I die".

While crying, I pulled him above me and let him leave purple and blue mark around my body. I warned him not to leave any on the neck. But he wanted to mark me on my back nape. I let him do it. I screamed, I panted, I moaned like there's no tomorrow. It felt soo good to let go. 

"Leave the hoodie alone. It aint going anywhere. It will stick with me here". I told him among my heavy breathe as I noticed that he wanted to tug it away from me. 

"So that it will smell like both of us having our first sex together".

Mew laughed. He shaked his head, disbelief. "Why do you love this old hoodie so much? I can buy you better one than this". He asked me.

While pulling his closer, I whisper to him, "Because your smell were all over it and it's my most valuable memento from you".

I can feel his dick twitched as it was above my meat. I smirked at him back.

"I love you so much, Yai Nong. I cant believe that you still had this hoodie with you". 

He said it. He said what I wanted to hear. I cant cry more than I am now. If I could, I might cry blood. 

"I love you too. I only want you. I only need you. No one else matter. You're the only one I want to grow old with, Khun Phi.. Accept me". I pleaded. I begged. Its so hard to control my spilled feelings now. Its too late to regret. Im so damn far from the right path.

Because I already gave my heart to him on the first day I met him in the audition days. 

"Tell me if it hurts and I'll stop". Mew was so considerate all the time I began to get annoyed. I want him inside me for a year already!

"Just give me your everything Mew. I'll carry them with me forever".

He messed me up all night long I dont ever remember how shaky my legs were and how sore my hips did. All I remember was those good feelings and pleasure he inserted in me. I might cant get up as i felt numb all over but he's here to take care of me. I need only that. Himself.

My first time with him... My first night with him ... Its all so blissful and it was unreal to me. What i dreamt for so long finally happening. It made me realised. Just sleeping with this hoodie wasnt enough to make me felt asleep now that our body and heart has connected.

I succeed in adding more fragrant of our first time onto it. You can call me dirty, but I will not gonna wash it. It was mine alone and i will never let anyone smell it, even my own mom. From now on, it will be in my room.

Thats why fans will never know my most favourite gift that I get from someone else. I dont have any intention to wear it outside. Never.

This unwashed, brown hoodie, will stay with me until I die, and Phi Mew will be with me when I can no longer witness the world's beauty.

Oh. One more thing.

Covvid sucks. Get the hell away from my Khun Phi. If you touched him, you'll see me first. 

And to those people that spread shits to him. Hell will break lose if anyone dares to hurt my Boo.

Im serious :)

**Author's Note:**

> my second shabby fanfics hahahahah im fcked up. tysm guys for reading !


End file.
